Skin-Deep

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I have been thinking about this particular subject for a while. In a move ridiculously characteristic of me, I was reluctant to start because of the implications of whatever conclusions I drew would say about me. But as there is no wifi, and this is on my to-do list, let’s begin, shall we?

There’s an episode of the TV show, Girlfriends, in which one of the titular girlfriends, Toni, rejects a man with darker skin. This man was her type to a T - sinfully wealthy, but she rejected him. When asked why, she said that she didn’t want to have kids darker than her, because they would have it worse than her. Implicit in her argument was that the best thing she could do for her future children, the best thing she could pass on was lighter skin. This got me thinking; is that truly the best thing she could have passed on to her children to ensure their success? While the answer is no, it’s more complicated than that.

It’s no secret that people of colour with lighter skin have it easier. Passing, the ability of a person to be regarded as a member of an identity group (typically one with greater societal advantages) from their own was, and is, literally a thing that light-skinned people of colour consider and employ, actively or passively. Studies have that individuals with lighter skin are ascribed a higher social status and get preferential treatment when compared to those with darker skin in almost every area of life; education, the justice system, employment, romantic and sexual relationships and so on. Not to mention the element of endowing said child with “good hair”, often closely associated with lighter skin. So given the inherent advantages, Toni’s perspective is understandable. It is easy to empathise with her, given that if the benefits of having lighter skin are true, then the inverse (that darker skin has negative overtures that are detrimental to the experiences of dark-skinned individuals) may also be true. She wanted to spare whatever children she may have from those experiences, in a perverse act of affection.

But where Toni is different is that she is actively seeking to prevent this “fate”, and she is not the only person to do so. The impact of colourism in communities of colour is undeniable. Colourism is "the allocation of privilege and disadvantage according to the lightness or darkness of one’s skin," (Meghan Burke, 2007) respectively. Megan Burke notes that of the 312 cultures she studied across the globe, at least 51 treat skin shade as a salient dimension of beauty standards, with lighter skin drawing greater attraction than darker skin. In Africa, this fact can be traced back to the systems of colonisation that established whiteness as property, awarding rights, both tangible and intangible, to those who were white or came close to whiteness. Therefore, for those who are closer to exercising these property rights, by virtue of their lighter skin tone, are more desirable and may live a life with fewer disadvantages, and greater privileges. 

But to actively seek out a partner lighter than you, in the knowledge of desiring to secure their privileges, by association, is to affirm what we’ve been told all of our lives. That is a world where “white is best and”, anything less than that should be avoided at all costs. It would be to buy into the learned hatred I feel towards my skin colour and pass that onto my children, as their existence, and how they came into being, would be a byproduct of that self-hatred.

Knowing all of this, I can’t help but understand Toni’s desire. I would be lying if I didn’t say a small part of me yearns for a child lighter than myself too. Because if I am not able to give her wealth or power, I can at least guarantee she has more privileges than I did; privileges that are, literally, skin deep.

And I don’t like what that says about me.

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