Putting Your Money, Where Your Mouth Is

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This has got to be one of the hardest things to do. 

Today, I was informed of a book launch by the Communist Party of Kenya. I want to go, I just lack the resources to do so. This is not to say that I don't have the money or the time. But because I had not planned to attend the event, I had not allocated my finite resources to it. Even though, I have planned to use those same resources to engage in frivolities like seeing the next MCU movie, catching up with new and old friends, and buying the things I need to keep myself sane. The book launch was not a priority, and I feel guilty about that. I feel guilty that I do not want to allocate resources to support a cause I believe in. I feel guilty that I would rather give Daddy Disney more of my time, money and mental energy, that the Communist Party of Kenya. I feel guilty that my belief in socialism is only skin-deep; easily undermined by self-interest and social anxieties. That, when push came to shove, I could not put my money where my mouth is. Above all, I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty at all. 

At this point, my first instinct was to justify this absence. I could point to the realities of our socioeconomic system. Capitalism has complicated my desire to do good by changing what it means to be good. Under capitalism, to be good is to realise and be motivated by your self-interest. Often, this self-interest is interpreted as greed; as the desire to maximise the benefits I may receive from any situation. However, this is not what Adam Smith had in mind when he conceptualised self-interest. For Smith, self-interest is not myopic and inward. Self-interest is empathy. It is considering how your desires impact your neighbour. It is putting others first. In today's political economy, it would be akin to socialism. Unfortunately, this is not the case. And we are left in a world where empathy is expensive and uncomfortable. At least, in the short run. 

Yet, the more I reflected on this conclusion, the clearer my cowardice became. Yes, empathy is expensive. But does that mean it's not worth it? Yes, being a good person sucks and is often more trouble than it's worth. But does that mean it's not worth it? Under capitalism, the answer is yes. When the costs are too high, and the rewards too low and not immediate, then we are encouraged to "cut our losses." But here's the thing. I'm presuming that the rewards of attending the book launch will not outweigh the price I pay to attend. Specifically, the time I dedicate, the fare I pay to be physically present and the emotional energy I will expend to engage with new people. I made this assumption because I do not know what the rewards will be. While I know what I will get out of going to see the next MCU movie or spending time with my friends. 

Yet, I cannot shake the feeling that this is something I should try. This instinct wrestles against my need for stability, my reluctance to try anything new, and my understanding of the world. It is challenged by the immediacy of the costs I will pay to attend and the intangibility of the rewards I may gain; an imbalanced equation existing in an environment that encourages me to minimise costs and seek out tangible rewards. 

So here I am; provided with an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and reluctant to do a damn thing about it. 

But who knows, the day is young. 

I could change my mind...

Comments

  1. Kaleem Adamjee4/30/2023 11:18 am

    Hey Aileen, I came across your lovely blog from your LinkedIn.
    I agree, I think its very important for us to put our money towards things that keep us sane hehe, it was very entertaining and introspective!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Voice Over5/01/2023 10:01 am

    Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete

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