Romance Novels

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 So I have a dirty little secret; I read Harlequinn Romance novels. 

It started when I was 16 and, literally, stumbled upon them in the supermarket. 10 years later, I can hardly say that I stumble upon them anymore. I actively seek them out, looking for a variety of romance novels with different protagonists, inciting incidents (beyond the usual Pregnancy, forced Marriage Contract, Arranged Marriage as part of a Business Merger or classic Revenge), and premises. My favourite, so far, has been After the Billionaire's Wedding Vows by Lucy Monroe where Monroe explores what happens after love, marriage and the baby carriage. But I always wondered why I was drawn to these kinds of novels.

Is it because the storytelling is formulaic; hitting the same narrative beats every time? This consistency is why I like, and obsessively rewatch, sitcoms. The formulaic structure of a sitcom allows me to dip in and out of the story while still knowing what's going on overall. Likewise, the formulaic structure of most romance novels allows me to skim the story without getting too involved in the twists and turns. Simply because I have seen these twists and turns before. Additionally, this formula imbues a sense of comfort that soothes the soft chaos and uncertainty of my life. In a sitcom, you know that there will always be a happy ending. You know that every problem will be resolved. You know that things will work out. Life doesn't give you these guarantees. So perhaps, I went looking for them in literature. Specifically, romance novels.

Or, maybe, I was drawn to romance novels because of the stories themselves and what they allow me to believe. In each of the stories I have inhaled, the female heroine is every woman with an ordinary job while the male protagonist is a rich, arrogant guy. Yet, the male protagonist is drawn to her simple beauty. They have obvious and instantaneous chemistry that cannot be denied. They complete holes in each other's lives, they didn't know were missing. They have diametrically opposed interests, that are often reconciled by some contrivance (forced marriage, pregnancies etc). They have mind-blowing sex, where the woman experiences multiple orgasms every time. And by the end, both of the stories' protagonists are living their happily ever afters. These tropes, while rote, are soothing. They allow me to believe certain things that I need to believe. That I can experience le petit mort, every time when statistically, that's not true. That I as a woman of no-great beauty, intellect or particular talent, can not only hold the attention of a brilliant, ambitious and devastatingly attractive partner but am more than capable of sustaining it. That I am a person of value, even if I don't see it myself. Critically, these romance novels allow me to believe that there is a happily ever after for everyone. 

Do I wish that these endings were not "love, marriage and a baby carriage"? At times ... yes. I would be interested in reading a story that shares all the tropes, but the couple realises that while they make each other happy, they are not meant to be together. Almost a Ted and Robbin from HIMYM, before the writers, chickened out and gave us that bullshit ending. Or perhaps, a story where the sexual partner is not the end goal but a necessary experience in the journey of self-exploration and growth. But if the romance novel did this, then it would cease to be a Harlequinn romance novel. Simply because it no longer traffics a romantic ideal, but begins to question and challenge its necessity or appropriateness. 

Perhaps that is why I was drawn to romance novels in the first place. Not because they challenged the ideal, but because they confirmed it. They gave words to a desire, I could not yet articulate or admit to myself that I wanted at 16; a partner. Someone in my life who knew me and accepted me. Someone who challenged me to grow. Someone who values me for simply existing. I didn't have that at 16. To a certain extent, it feels like I don't have this now, a decade later; even though I know better. 

Might this be why I keep reading romance novels? 


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